Hey y’all! I’m Kaylee, and I am diving head-first into the world of stepmotherhood, marriage, and, most recently, infertility. Those three things seem to be all encompassing lately, and can make a girl feel a bit lonely or overwhelmed. After being diagnosed with infertility, I had a million and four questions, with few answers. My questions sent me down a rabbit hole of medical jargon and baby loss forums, but provided little hope or encouragement. I’m hoping to share my personal struggles and triumphs, failures and successes, stay-in-bed days and silver linings in order to reach others who have had similar experiences. People were made for community, and I hope to find one through sharing the story of our growing blended family.
When I am not trying to figure out what this crazy body of mine is doing, I am loving on my insanely handsome husband, Bryan, and the two tiny people he gifted to me through marriage, Coral and Chloë. I recently left a full-time job as a non-profit professional to start my own wedding and event planning business – a dream that took its first breath during an entrepreneurship course in college, and has finally grown wings. I think cats are God’s proof that He loves us, and puppies cure everything. My daydreams are always taking me on overseas adventures. Also in my dreams, pizza can sustain our bodies and I am a prima ballerina for the Paris Opera Ballet.
Above all, and what feeds my soul during rough seasons of life such as this one, I worship a God who loves me fiercely, who is mightier than the thundering waves, and who is my hope, grace, and peace.
Historically, a lady-in-waiting is a woman of noble standing, chosen to wait on or be a companion to a woman of higher ranking. Her role was important, respected, sought after – but always lesser than the woman she served. She often waited to be recognized by those she served, or by a romantic interest. As a stepmother, I know my role is important in our home, but it’s difficult to see that some days. I often let myself feel like my role is just a formality, to make sure we eat and bathe, that homework gets done, and we always say “please” and “thank you,” but that it’s not vital. Let’s be real – my husband has been doing all this solo – raising his girls, running his home, and working – for almost eight years; he certainly doesn’t need me, does he? The lies we tell ourselves…
And while he and the tiny people we are raising together have never given me any reason to doubt the value and appreciation they have for my role in our family, it is hard not to feel the painful sting of being “just the stepmom,” or the second wife. Add infertility to the mix, just for good measure, and voilà! You have a stepmother-in-waiting. Much like a lady-in-waiting, I find myself longing to be elevated to a role that is recognized, royal, real.